(Note: I’ve often thought how thankful I am that I didn’t have to learn English as a second language, and my hat is off to those of you who have done so and are writing books and articles!)

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England ..
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

Unknown Author

I have to admit I began reading 600 Hours of Edward with a bit of trepidation. This is fellow Montanan, journalist and friend, Craig Lancaster’s first novel and I wanted to like it. But, I wondered, 278 pages about a man with Asperger’s syndrome who obsessively-compulsively records the exact minute he awakes each morning? Someone who eats the same thing for lunch every day, drives to the grocery store every Tuesday, and makes only right-hand turns?

Well, I fell in love with Edward.

Rather than a comedic sketch of a person with mental illness, Craig created an endearing character who faces many of the same life questions and obstacles that the rest of us do: A shaky relationship with his father, a not-so-successful on-line dating experience, and an attempt to better himself through counseling. In the end, he faces a choice: Open his life to experience and deal with the joys and heartaches that come with it, or remain behind his closed door, a solitary soul.

This story is humorous and it is touching. It kept me eagerly turning the pages from the first to the last, and it is a story that stays with me long after I finished. I give 600 Hours of Edward Five Stars and highly recommend it.

If you are curious, as I was, about how Craig developed his character and how much of himself is seen in Edward, read this article on Carol Buchanan’s blog.

I’m not too old to have my picture taken with Santa! At a local book signing.

All we got for Christmas was a lump of coal…er, wait! It’s a Jellicle Cat!

Friends gather each December to bake cookies for a Cookie Exchange.

Laurie, Heidi, Helen, Ann & Barb

My Christmas cactus DOES bloom for the holiday sometimes!

To all my followers, I hope your holidays were bright and that the New Year brings happiness, peace and prosperity!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I have the privilege of belonging to a writers’ group with today’s guest, Laura Lavigne, so I know what a vivacious and spunky woman she is. If for no other reason, I would have bought her book Pink Hair & Chocolate Cookies, just on the title alone. The full title includes the subtitle “real life lessons from a real life coach,” and that is what the book is about—ways of extracting essential lessons from ordinary moments in her own life. Readers will be able to laugh, cry, and identify with the stories Laura tells and begin to simplify and expand their own lives.

Laura, your business is Treehouse Coaching. Can you explain what a life coach is? Yes, Heidi. I think I can. A life coach is a mix of consultant, counselor, best-friend-for-hire, cheering team, sounding board with a sprinkle of drill sergeant. Really, I think we can all benefit from a life coach. Someone whom we know has our best interest in mind but is not emotionally invested. Someone who holds us accountable and allows us to hear our own voice. Someone who wants to know about our past but is more interested in our present.

I know you didn’t start out with this career. Tell us a little more about your varied background.

Well, I think that in some way I have always trained for this. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a social worker – which made my very business minded family laugh out loud. I have let life move through me a lot, over the years and it has taken me some interesting places, both personally and professionally. I have had a ten year career as a makeup artist for the movie and fashion industry, started and ran several small businesses (including a moped messenger service in Hawaii), owned an organic herb garden, and created two French bakeries.

Why did you decide to write a book? The truth is that I was involved in developing another program and the man I was working with disappeared! So my partner/love, asked me “What else is asking to come in?” “A book” was my answer. So he and I got to work on compiling some of my writing as well as getting me to create a few more pieces and that’s how “Pink Hair & Chocolate Cookies” came to be … in a month!

Who should read this book? Oprah! Seriously, I always think that women are the best audience for my book because it is so filled with my own experiences as a woman. But then, I will hear from a man, once in a while who will tell me how much such and such story has meant to him. And then – and I love that – I will hear from a mom who tells me her teenage daughter devoured it in one sitting and loved it. So, in the end, I think the stories are universal enough that they touch on all of many of our experiences: being a parent, being a kid, owning a business, feeling vulnerable, being filled with hope, doubt… the whole rich cocktail that makes us … us.

Did the title come to you first or later, as you were writing?

Here again, Chris gently intervened. I had a much less interesting title in my mind and instead of telling me “this is awful,” he knew me well enough to ask, “Do you think this is the best title?” Of course it was not and once we hit on that one it felt perfect right away. A little sweet and a little kooky, you know?

I loved your anecdote about “Oprah and the Chocolate Cookies.” Can you give us a brief synopsis of this story and the lessons you took from it?

I love that story, too. It is a little vignette of my life during the raise-babies-run-a-bakery days. I am going to keep the mystery on that one and let people come listen to it on my site. Or better yet, meet me on Jan 8 at The Skagit Women in Business first annual breakfast and I will read it to you.

And the story that inspired the “pink hair” portion of the title? A sweet, spunky and wise old woman with a mane of cotton candy colored hair rocked my world – and continues to do so.

What advice would you give someone who wants to write? Do it. Do it in spurts and save your work, even if it does not make sense today. Do not “not write” because you don’t see how it could ever be a book or how anyone would want to read it. I wonder that every time I write a piece and every time, someone tells me how much they liked it. And then, when you are ready to share your words, call Fidlar Doubleday and see how easy and inexpensive it can be to put a book together. Just print a few … it does not have to be a big deal. Give yourself the gift of once in your life, opening a box filled with your own books, straight from the printer. You deserve it.

Where are your books available? My books are available online on my site www.lauralavigne.com as well as on Amazon kindle. There is also an audio version of the book (accent and all).

Laura, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us today. Lots of luck with more “pink hair and chocolate cookies” stories!

Jeanne Marie Leach is a non-fiction and fiction author, speaker, freelance fiction editor, and writing coach. She has written a book, WRITING BASICS FOR BEGINNERS, and whether you haven’t written a word, or you have almost completed your first manuscript, this book will give you the direction you need to take the next step toward publication.

She believes everyone who has a book idea inside them can learn how to write it; they simply need to be shown how to begin. The task may appear too large and overwhelming. This book starts at the beginning of your writing journey, and will give you the confidence and direction to see the book through to those final two words – THE END.

How to Identify Passive Writing

(Taken from WRITING BASICS FOR BEGINNERS)

By Jeanne Marie Leach

Fiction authors are being taught that the verb “was” and its forms are
considered passive writing, but it actually falls under the heading of passive voice. I teach this in my class on Editing Fiction.
Below are a couple excerpts from the class.

Active vs. passive

One of the most notable mistakes used by beginning writers is overusing the
word was and its tenses. This culprit is the king of passive writing. I’ve
read books in which these were used many times. What ends up happening is
the book begins sounding like a first grade reader.

She was tired.

He was angry.

Then she was sorry.

He was glad, etc.

To delete the word was from a client’s manuscript, you are going to
have to completely rewrite the sentence. In doing so, you will spice up the
writing, bringing it out of the ordinary and passive and into descriptive
and active.

Using the examples I just gave, getting rid of “was” will cause the
sentences to sing.

She was tired. = Her body ached as she climbed the stairs to the house.

He was angry. = His eyes shot fire at her and his face contorted into a
sneer.

Then she was sorry. = She knew she’d done wrong and her heart convicted her
of it.

He was glad. = His huge grin and the sparkle in his eyes bespoke of his
gladness.

These examples were simplified on purpose. Now consider the following
examples:

Jane was angry at her brother for telling her parents she was the
one who’d caused the stain on the carpet.

There wasn’t enough time to think before she ran after John.

The car was so shiny.

Bart was about to run after her when she turned around and looked
him in the eyes.

For the most part, there’s nothing wrong with these sentences, but passive
writing is considered lazy writing. In the first sentence, you know the
basics, but exactly how angry had Jane become? We don’t know; the author
doesn’t tell us. To change passive writing into active, the author will need
to rewrite the sentence, and it often means expanding the sentence into two
or three. You could allow an author to leave the sentence as it is, but it’s
better to encourage them to make it come alive. You can get inside Jane’s
head and really know what she’s thinking.

Here are the same sentences, only written to be more active instead of
passive:

Jane frowned and stomped her foot. “You little brat! You had no
right to tell Mom and Dad I spilled my juice on the rug. I’m going to ring
your stupid little neck when I catch you.”

John left and she leaned against the door. A moment later, he
heard a car door close. I can’t let him go like this. She ran outside and
down the sidewalk. “John, I’m sorry! Please, don’t go!”

He saw his reflection in the new, candied apple red paint job, and
the depth of the shine let him believe there had to be at least eight coats
of paint on the car.

Bart’s heart couldn’t let her simply walk away like this. He
wanted to go after her, but he couldn’t make himself take that first step.
She turned and looked him in the eyes, and at that moment he knew they would
be together forever.

Do you see the difference between the first set of sentences and the second?
Passive writing tells the basics, but by getting rid of “was,” the author is
forced to let the reader know the depth of what is happening.

Now don’t go off on a “was” hunt and eliminate them all. There are times
when this is the only word that would work in a particular sentences. Ask
yourself if the sentence leaves any unanswered questions, and that should
help you determine if it is in passive voice.

Visit Jeanne’s website for more information about Jeanne’s editing and coaching services.

Good advice–something I keep hammering away at in my classes and editing too. Thank you for being my guest author today, Jeanne!

Jeanne is also the author of the novels SHADOW OF DANGER and THE PLIGHT OF MATTIE GORDON, available from Treble Heart Books.

She also has a story and a devotional in the anthology, Fiction and Truth: Stories that Speak to the Soul. Available from the editor Kathy Ide.

My guest today is Alan Weltzien, author of A Father and an Island and professor of English at the University of Montana Western in Dillon, MT.

One reviewer, Montana writer Mary Clearman Blew, wrote: “In this moving tribute to his father and his family’s home on a Puget Sound island, Alan Weltzein returns us to a time when summers were glorious and children played all day long on beaches that were still unexploited and unrestricted—a pleasure to read.” Another, Ann Ronald, University of Nevada, Reno, described the book as “Simultaneously a paean to his father and a personal memoir about a changing landscape caught by a ‘rising tide of affluence’…”

Welcome, Alan. Tell us the inspiration for beginning work on this historical memoir.

I had thought about writing of our family life on Camano for some years—I have lived away from Puget sound for decades, though I’m a frequent visitor. The real impetus for the book, readers of it will not be surprised to hear, was my father’s death in July, 1997.

I very much enjoyed how you interwove your family history with that of Camano Island. It is a wonderful tribute to both. At what point did you decide to combine the two?

I decided to conflate stories early on.  I wanted to tell at least one version of the island’s ‘modern’ story alongside my father’s story and our family’s life there for now over half a century.

I also like the bridge metaphor for the island, for your father and you and your sons. When did you realize this connection?

Again, fairly early in the writing. Generations resemble bridges, it seems to me.

Do you still own the cabin?

Yes, we do.

What is your favorite memory of summers on “the island?”

Hot afternoons with an incoming tide, on the beach, when we played in the water for hours.

It appears that writing this book was a learning and growing experience for you. You write “No man is an island, and every island is a son.” Quite a revelation, isn’t it?

I hope so.

As a reader, I found that I reluctantly stepped out of my fast-paced world to read your lyrical, poetic flow of words. It is a good reminder to stop once in awhile and just watch the world around me. When did you first know you were a writer? Thank you.  I was slow to discover I wanted to be a writer.  As a professor I’d been publishing scholarly articles and that sort of thing, but more than a dozen years ago I realized that didn’t feel like enough. I wanted to try my hand at nonfiction.

What made you decide to become an English professor?

I knew I wanted to be a teacher by adolescence; by the time I went off to college, I’d decided I wanted to be a professor, and by my second year, I knew I loved literature and writing more than about anything else.

What advice do you give your students who are aspiring authors?

I teach expository and critical writing, as well as nonfiction. In all cases, but more so in upper-level classes, I stress to students that writing is about rewriting. “A Father and an Island” took me eight years.

I can identify with that. My favorite quote for writers is Hemingway: “There are no great writers, only great re-writers.”

You have published books on Montanans Rick Bass and John McPhee and recently edited The Norman Maclean Reader. Do you have another book in the works? Any fiction?

Yes, I’ve started drafting a book about Washington’s five volcanoes. It will be a sort of environmental and cultural history, particularly as it focuses upon changing human impacts upon these special places I also want to try my hand at a novel, one which involves a somewhat forgotten Montana novelist as main character.

Alan’s books are available via amazon.com.  For “A Father and an Island,” check out the amazon.com readers’ reviews and the editorial review.  “The Norman Maclean Reader” can also be ordered directly from the University of Chicago Press website.

Like Santa’s elves, I have a busy schedule this month with book signings and craft fairs. I’ve already done a couple of craft shows and signings at my local Starbucks.

Remember, books make terrific gifts!

One of my venues is at Brindles Christmas Market on Camano Island, 848 N. Sunrise Blvd. This market has a delightful array of gift items, from books, of course, to art, crafts, photography, and food items. If you live within driving distance of Camano Island WA, stop by and do some Christmas shopping.

My Schedule

Friday December 4: Anacortes Book/Art Walk. I will be signing books at Burton’s Jewelers from 5-9 p.m.

Saturday, Dec. 5: I will be with fellow author Mary Trimble at the Clear Lake Elementary School Holiday Bazaar, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Friday Dec. 11: Presentation with Mary Trimble at the Camano Island Library, 3 p.m.

Saturday Dec. 12: Book signing at the Farmers’ Co-op Country Store in Mount Vernon 11 a.m. – 2 p.m.

Brindles Market is open seven days a week, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. at Terry’s Corner, Camano Island through the end of January.

Welcome to my guest, Jane Kennedy-Sutton, author of The Ride, an adventure novel where the heroine, plucked from her mundane housewife existence, finds herself embarking on the ride of her life down historic Route 66 towards Chicago, encountering the road to self-discovery along the way.

Prior to embracing the role of author, Jane considered herself a ‘professional tourist’ as her husband’s career kept her moving around the globe. According to Jane, settling in and exploring each new locale was an exciting, full time job with no pay but a host of benefits. She’s lived in Taiwan, South Korea, England, the Netherlands, Italy and Saudi Arabia, but has also had the opportunity to visit many other countries as well. Since settling back in the states, Jane is now a full time writer and occasional tourist. She is a member of the Florida Writers Association and the Gulf Coast Writers Association. The Ride is Jane’s first novel and was released by ArcheBooks Publishing in August 2008.

To learn more about Jane and her writing, visit her blog, Jane’s Ride and her website.

Resources for Writing Western Fiction

by Jane Kennedy-Sutton

In the early 1900’s, at the age of 14, my grandmother moved from New York City to Calvert, Texas. She made that trip partly by train and partly by covered wagon. I’ve toyed with the idea of writing a fictionalized account of what this journey may have been like for a teenage girl. I currently write contemporary fiction so this story will be a stretch for me. I know I have much to learn before I start.

Since the action begins in New York and takes place during the turn of the century, it won’t be a classic Western, but Calvert was still pretty much of a frontier town at the time she arrived. Therefore, I’ve been researching books about writing historical fiction and Westerns that I think might be helpful. Along with Heidi’s book, Cowgirl Dream, here are a few I’m considering:

Calico Chronicle: Texas Women and Their Fashions 1830-1910 – Betty J. Mills

Amazon Description: Calico Chronicle offers a rare glimpse into the daily routine of Texas women by showing us their everyday fashions. Photos from the costume collection of The Museum, Texas Tech University, and reproductions from mail-order catalogs of the period illustrate this valuable book.

The Female Frontier: A Comparative View of Women on the Prairie and the Plains – Glenda Riley

Amazon Description: This book introduces the important concept of a female frontier–a frontier “every bit as real and coherent, as, for example, the mining frontier.” It gives us a new understanding of western women’s shared experiences and of the full implications of their participation in America’s westward movement.

Riley has reconstructed women’s roles and concerns from census data, legal proceedings, newspaper accounts, local histories, essays, sermons, novels, photographs, works of art, and in large part from their own words, as recorded in diaries, day books, journals, letters, memoirs, reminiscences, and interviews. These women include the barely literate and the educated, the young and the old, single and married, white and black, native-born and immigrant. What emerges is a new understanding of the shared experiences–at home, in paid employment, and in community activities–that constituted the female frontier.

The Art and Craft of Writing Historical Fiction: Researching and Writing Historical Fiction – James Alexander Thom

Amazon Description: The historical novelist has a responsibility to make his fiction both meaningful and accurate. “The Art & Craft of Writing Historical Fiction” offers comprehensive instruction on everything from conducting research to character development and world-building to navigating matters of historical license. Author James Thom instructs readers on how to find and use historical archives; conduct physical and field research; re-create the world of their novel, as the book’s characters knew it; and, seamlessly weave historical fact with their own compelling plot ideas.

Do you own any of these books and if so would you recommend them. Are there other books that you’d recommend?

Let’s hear from everyone what your writing resources are. Be sure to leave a comment to be entered in a drawing! And check out VBT-Writers on the Move a group for ongoing virtual book tours.

I have so much to be thankful for: my wonderful husband, our families, our friends, the tasks and talents God has given us. This holiday we took a “mini retreat” in Leavenworth, WA, a lovely little German town in the Cascades. Another thing to be thankful for: God’s gift of our beautiful world.We awoke this morning to sun highlighting the snowy peaks of the Cascades, and fog clinging to the sides of the mountains.

The Enzian Inn, where we stayed. What a delightful place!One of the ornately-painted shops downtown. Brings back fond memories of visiting relatives in Germany, where my mother was born and raised.

And, one of my favorite things of the season: Christmas lights!

Kathy Stemke has a passion for writing, the arts and all things creative. She has a B.S. from Southern Connecticut State University and Covenant Life Seminary, as well as graduate coursework from New York Institute of Technology and Columbia University. Hanging her hat in the North Georgia Mountains, she has been a dancer, choreographer, teacher, tutor, writer and an antiques dealer for many years. As a freelance writer Kathy has published several articles, and she is a contributing editor for The National Writing for Children’s Center.

Welcome to my blog, Kathy. Tell us about your first book.

My first book, Moving Through All Seven Days, was an outgrowth of a blog post.  This book inspires movement as children learn about the days of the week. The lyrical rhymes also teach them how to spell each day. The activities at the end of the book are designed to reinforce the concepts as well as give impetus to movement exploration.

Here is a review of Moving:

“This fun book is full of lively rhymes, clever illustrations, and engaging activities sure to be fun for all the kids in your class — or out of it. I knew I was hooked when I found myself filling in the missing letters on the Complete Each Word activity. Kathy Stemke, can I be in your class?  Pretty please?”

Margaret Fieland, Author/Educator

What other children’s books have you written?

I plan to write a series of picture books with environmental themes. Trouble on Earth Day is almost ready to be released.  This is a fun and educational story about a Squirrel who helps a new friend while learning to recycle. This book is full of great recycling ideas, craft projects, and worksheet pages.

I recently completed the second book in this series titled, Wonderful Water Explorers. This book opens up conversation about water preservation with a story of a thirsty bluebird named Charlie, who has lost his ability to sing due to a lack of water. When he meets up with his squirrel friend, Shelby, they set out on an adventure to find fresh drinking water and to bring back singing to the forest.

Guardian Angel Publishers will publish my book titled Sh, Sh, Sh, Will the Baby Sleep? In this action packed story a boy named Zachary must keep his new baby sister asleep.  In the process he finds out that he loves her very much.  This book and the activities included in the back focus on teaching children about consonant blends.  Teachers will love it.

Did you always want to be a writer?

Yes, I’ve been writing as long as I can remember.  I write poetry for self-expression.  I’m working on a book of poems about life from a dancer’s point of view.  Here’s an example:

An Empty Stage

Coiled torso frozen on an empty stage,

a living sculpture trapped in place

with no gown of tulle to hide her age

only weeping knees below her waist.

Framed in light, her insides groan

with pent up passion poised for release,

she now waits long and alone

for rhythm to carry her to peace.

But I remember her unencumbered

prance, so light for one held down

by unfulfilled dreams remembered,

floating above her tattered gown.

What are you working on now?

I’m working on my third book of the environmental series, which is about air pollution, as well as a picture book about dancing wood fairies.

I’ve also started my first YA fantasy novel. Although I’m still fleshing out my characters and plot, I’m very excited about this story.

View Kathy’s book trailer for Moving...

What type of book promotion works for you? Any special strategies you’d like to share?

Because my books have teacher activities in them, I belong to several teacher groups online.  This is a great way to keep in touch with what teachers are looking for in the books they buy for school, as well as develop friendships.

My free Movement and Rhythm Newsletter reaches over 350 teachers and parents each month.  I continue to add subscribers everyday.

I belong to a wonderful virtual book tour group, Writers on the Move. This is a good way to develop an online presence, and develop friendships with other authors.

I do library and school visits in my community.  I plan on writing a teacher tips column in my regional newspaper.  While giving away great educational activities to the community, I will let them know about my books.

What advice would you offer aspiring writers?

Take an online course on writing, which will teach you the basics of writing, and give you support.  There are several great authors who offer coaching clubs and even critique your work as you learn.  There are also week-long online conferences with several brilliant teachers to inspire you.

Read good books in the genre you want to write.  Explore what makes those books so special.  Take what you like from these successful authors and develop your own voice.

Do you have a website/blog where readers may learn more about you and your works?

http://educationtipster.blogspot.com

http://www.helium.com/users/406242.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/237923/Kathy_stemke_dancekam.html
http://kathystemke.weebly.com

Thank you, Kathy, your books sound wonderful!

Readers, be sure to leave a comment and you will be entered in a drawing.

For you authors out there: Why not increase your visibility and readership with VBT – Writers on the Move. We’re a group of authors who use cross-promotion as part of our marketing plan.

Finally, don’t forget VBT has a monthly Mystery Site Giveaway: a free book or a guest spot on the VBT – Writers on the Move’s blogsite!